I hope that
You forgot the cranberry sauce
You can’t all fit round the table
Someone coughs their way through Jingle Bells
The Christmas pudding is slightly overdone
An unexpected vegetarian appears
The lights have 99 knots
Uncle Alf forgets he is supposed to smoke outside
No-one monitors Aunt Mary’s sherry
Someone rings in the middle of the Kings speech
George forgets to top up the diesel
Julia forgets her wallet on her off licence run
Monopoly causes a row loud enough to wake Grandma
Grandpa takes all the labels off the presents
Billy puts something up his nose
The cat goes into labour
The dog gets out
You run out of batteries
The dishwasher won’t work
The bins so full you put some in the neighbours
Timothy wakes you at 3 am screaming ‘He’s been!’
Janie insists on carving the turkey three tequilas in
All the crackers have jokes with no punchline
The football tickets are ‘somewhere in the house’
Cousin Julie gives you 5 minutes warning to get to the panto
The twins cover the lounge in silly string
There are 73 whoopee cushions
There are enough after eights for the street
Sheridan starts a bowl the chocolate orange challenge
The smoke alarm is stuck on test
Marianne kisses someone she shouldn’t
The baby monitor reveals Simon’s secret
Jemima gets locked in the pub
There are no bin bags
Because you will remember this Christmas
And now whatever happens you will see it could be worse